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Newspaper Page Text
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AN OCCASIONAL VISITOR
A notable housekeeper of the past
generation, before the days of
screens, had just announced that she
never had any flies.
"But, Aunt' Augusta," faltered the
timid visitor,, "it seems to me that I
saw a few in the dining room."
"Oh, those," replied her aunt, with
a, majestic waVe of the hand, "were
the neighbors' flies. They come in
occasionally. But, as I was saying,
we never have any of our own."
A MILD PROTEST
"I don't quite see the point of that
remark of yours," said Mr. Skinner,
the grocer, as he tied ip the pack
age of sugar.
"What remark was that? asked
"You just remarked that some
men had an off-hand way of doing
things. And you wished I was one."
"Yes. I wished to remind you that
your hand was on the sugar when
yjpu weighed it" Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
Mrs. Crawford Why don't you
ask .your husband's advice?
Mrs. Crabshow I intend to, my
dear, just as soon as I've made up
my mind what I'll do. Judge.
i JP yt.l 1
Hini ' i I i i .
Some time ago the teacher of a
public school was instructing a class
5n ceoeraDhy. and when it came time
Tfo hand out a few questions, she turn
ed first to Willie Smith.
"Willie," said she, "can you tell me
what is one of the principal products
of the West Indies "
j "No, ma'am," frankly answered
jWillie',. after a moment's hesitation.
K. jusl ixiuiis. u uu, encouragingly
returned the-teacher; "where does
the sugar come from that you use at
"Sometimes 'from the store," an-'
swered Willie, "and sometimes we
horrow it from the next-door neigh
bor." Philadelphia Telegraph.
' "You seem to be able to keep the
militants contented in prison." .
"Vise " cqirl tYia fnw nrnfrfark "T lof
pjm lecture to the other prisoners."
JE&nsas Cljy JpurnaL, 1
' 'jln th' last 'football game between
Bi A. C." .(Beeleysport Ath-a-letic
Club),' and Silo Siding Normal, Soy
Bean suffered a slight indisposition
by bein' kicked on th' head. A fel
ler on th' other side is suspected who
suffered abroken e." r