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Newspaper Page Text
Kflft I I FRIEND HOVES
!r r -n
Lawyer (to timid young -woman)
Have you ever appeared as wit
ness in a suit before?
Witness Y-yes. sir, of course.
Lawyer Please state to the jury
just what suit it was.
Witness It was a nun's veiling,
shirred down the front and trimmed
with a lovely blue, and hat to
Judge (rapping violently) Order
in the court!
"S-s-s-sus-say, ma," stammered
Bobby through the suds, as his moth
er scrubbed and scrubbed him. "I
guess you want to get rid o' me,
"Why, no, Bobby, dear," replied
fhis mother. "Whatever put such an
idea into your mind?"
"Oh, nuthin'," said Bobby. "Only
it seems to me you're tryin' to rub
me out" Onward.
In the sixth grade the teacher
was questioning a boy about Napo
leon's disastrous invasion of Russia
and the subsequent retreat from
"What did the French do then?"
"They ran away," replied the boy.
"Yes, that is what they did," said
the teacher, "but 'ran away' is hardly
the correct phrase to use. What
should you have said?"
The boy's face, lighted up with un
derstanding. "They beat it!" he exclaimed,
Freddie Are you the trained
nurse mamma said was coming?
Nurse Yes, dear! I'm the trained
Freddie Let's see some of your
"Here, boys ! What's the trouble ? "
"That kid said you was a bum doc
tor and the old medicine you gave
wouldn't hurt anyhow."
"And I said it would too!" t- '
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