OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 31, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-12-31/ed-1/seq-17/

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SHE KNEW WHERE HE WAS
In an Indiana city recently there"
fell dead on the street of heart dis
ease a well-known "rounder."
"Mrs. Jones," said the minister, "I
hardly know what to say to you to
night in the way of sympathetic ut-
:Rf3t4 terance. I just want you to know,
though, that anything you suggest to
alleviate your present distress will be
done if I can perform it."
"Well, I am not without comfort,"
1 said the wife. "At least I .know where
John is tonight."
IN AN ENGLISH TRAINING CAMP
jealous Sentry Afraid I can't let
you go by without the password, sir.
Irate Officer But, confound you!
I tell you I have forgotten it. You
know me well enougn. I'm Major
Jones.
Sentry Can't help it, sir; must
Knave the password.
Voice From, the Guard Tent Oh,
don't stand arguing all night, Bill;
QUITE OLD ENOUGH
A quiet, patient little man had been
pushed about and trodden on by the
other passengers in a crowded, sub
way car. For a long time he suffered
In silence. Then, in a meek, voice, he
addressed an awkward youth stand
ing next to him.
"Young man," he said, "I hope you
will not think me rude, but may I ask
your age?"
The youth stared at him lor a mo
ment, and replied: "Eighteen."
"Eighteen," repeated the little man
softly. "Now really, young man,
don't you think that you are old
enough to stand on your own feet?"
-Top-Notch.
HIS WISH
She It is said that nothing is ever
lost in nature.
He I wish the chap who wrote
that had to find my golf balls.
o o
HER IDEAL
He What is your masculine ideal?
r She A man who has both sand
and dust
SAY
fl'GOLLY fl PRUDENT
PELLER. S UKE'R .
PIN 'CRUSE HIS
HERD PREVENTS
HIM FROM GOIN'TOO)
PRR ' f YOURS TWUFLY
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