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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, January 06, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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uncle Sol threw asiae the letter
'was reading and uttered an ex-
Imation of impatience.
'"Doggone!" he cried, "why can't
ople be more explicit? "
"What's the matter, na?" asked
"This letter from home." Uncle Sol
Inswered, "says father fell out of th
lid apple tree and broke a limb."
A pompous manufacturer of ma.
'chinery was showine a straneer over
"Fine piece of work, isn't it?" he
Id. when thev were looking at a
ery Ingenious machine.
fYes." said the visitor, "hut vnn
can not hold a candle to the sroocta
we are turning out."
"Indeed!" said the chacrined man
ufacturer. "And what Is your line?"
"Gunpowder," was the reply.
The last minstrel stopped at a back
door and said to the housewife who
"Give me something to eat, fair
dame, and I will tickle your ears with
a merry tale of romance."
"But why not tell me the tale
first?" the dame suggested.
"No, I must have the food and
drink before I talk."
Thereupon the dame slammed the
door with the tart retort:
"You're not a merry minstrel,
you're only an after-dinner speaker."
N. T. Globe.
"I don't know that there is much
use in keeping my school open more
than -a month or two each year," said
the German pedagogue.
"Why is that?"
"Our emperor Ti& simplified mat
ters to such an extent that when you
ask the name of the world's greatest
poet, painter, musician, general, trav
eler or monarch there is only one
answer to all the questions." Tit
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