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Newspaper Page Text
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"This is a funny world," observed
the Cheerful Idiot.
"What is the trouble with it?"
asked the Old Fogy.
"When we are out of money we
want work, and when we are out of
workwe want money," sighed the
Cheerful Idiot Cincinnati Bn
'quirer. 0 0
Precise Boarding-Mistress "Mr.
f Blunt, shall I tender you some more
of the chicken?"
Mr. Blunt "No, thank you! But
if you can tender this piece you have
already served me I shall be greatly
'obliged to you." Christian Register.
Peckham My wife talks, talks,
talks all the time.
f TJnderthum You're mistaken. She
must listen part of the time or my
wife wonMa't fee. with, her so much, tears ,
n. y. gee but there was some laffin
in a subway trane about 11 g. m. the
a hole lot of the people that was
ridin home had been to a show, but i
bet they hadent none of them seen
nuthing 1-2 as funny at the show as
what a little kidd about 2 yeres old
pulled off in the trane
the little kidd was with its ma, and
the ma was sleepy, but the kidd
wasent, it was all the time trying to
git out of its ma'b arms and crawl
through a winder or sumthing
next to the child and the ma was
a little fat feller about 50 yeres old
f that must of had a few drinks with
sum trends, probly, becos he was
dead to the world, he just set and
slept and grunted, and wobbled
around in his seat whenever the trane
started and stopped
he was having happy dreems all
the time, becos he would talk out
loud evry wunst in a while, and then
fade away again.
well, the little kidd he was squirm
ing around in his ma's arms, and
clawing the air, and he happened to
git ahold of the ear of this guy set
ting in the next seat
before his ma knew what was com
ing off, he give the old guy's listener
a fearful yank, he must have
stretched it a inch or so
the old feller never opened his eyes
at all, but he hollered out, "let go,
lizzie, i tell you i aint been nowheres
except to the offis all evening"
well, if lizzie could of seen evrybody
giving her old man the ha, ha, she
would probly have pulled both his
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