Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
V fl lUCV GANWrtcH WD I
SPplLED HER BAROMETER
J "Why have you taken such a dis
tune to Lr. curem?"
He cured my husband's rheuma-
tism, so he can never tell when it is
going to rain, and last week I spoil
ed a brand new hat." N. Y. World.
SHE'S AFTER HIM
"I've made a New Tear's resolu-
?J.tion to marry my ideal in 1915 if I
can find him."
, "What is your ideal like?"
' "Oh, any eligible young man who
proposes." N. Y. World.
"Ma, what is a St Vitus dance?"
"Dear me, why do you ask?"
"Willie Sniggs has sent me an in
vitation to ope."
THE ONLY WAY
Howler I made quite an impres
sion with my voice last night
Hinkley What did you do? Sing
into a phonograph sqmewhere?
n. y. even in the msurence bisniss
there is sumtimes some fun
a little guy which is adjuster for a
fire insurence cumpany went over in
jersey the uther day to look at a bUd
ing which had been scorched pretty
he went all over the place very
cairfuHy, and when he got through
the feller that owned the hflding said
he would hke to have his opinion as
to what caused the fire
i aint exackly certen, says the ad
juster, but i am inclined to think
probly it was friction
friction, says the man, what do you
mean friction, what kind of friction
could of caused this fire
well, ansers the adjuster, there is a
kind of friction we sumtimes run
acrost that comes from rubbing a ten
thousend doller policy an a five thous
and dollar bflding.
after the guy had thought it over
for a cuppel of minutes he claimed he
was being insulted, and got as mad as
"How much a pound are your sau
sages?" "Der brice has gone up," replied
the proprietor. "I vifl haf to sharge
you twenty-five cents,"
"Nonsense," said the woman.
"Why I can get them at Shaubaum's
for twenty cents."
"Veil, madam, vy don't you do so?"
".Don't be impudent sir. He was
out of them.
"Ah, veil," replied the man, smil
ing, "ef I vas out of dem I vood let
you haf dem for twenty cents, too."