Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
"How much did h nav for those
Zjltg1' grand opera tickets?"
r' "Cayenne. "He must love music."
"Possibly. And, on the other band,
he may have very little respect for
$5." Washington Star.
Tramp It is needless to ask the
question, madam. You know what
Lady Yes, I know what you want
badly, but I've only one bar of soap
in the house and the servant is us
ing it. Come some other time.
"My tobacconist tells me that If I
stick my cigars In my vest pocket
so that the small end Is out instead
the big end I'll lose fewer cigars."
Tve a better plan than that Stick
'em in your coat pocket bo that they
don't show at all." N. Y. Times.
Sergeant Sharp was as regimental
as it is possible for a man to be.
" 'Shun!" he cried to his squad.
"Quick march! Left wheel! Halt!
Take Murphy's name for talking In
"But he wasn't talking," protest
ed a corporal who was standing near.
"Wasn't he?" roared Sergeant
Sharp. "Don't matter, then. Cross
it out and put him in the guardroom
for deceiving me."
"Now, Elsie," she said, "Mary fol
lowed Edward VL, didn't she'"
'Tes, ma'am," replied the little glrL
"And now who followed Mary?"
asked the teacher, hopefully.
All was silent for a moment, then
Elsie raised her hand.
"Yes, Elsie," queried the teacherf
"who followed Mary?" .
"Her little lamb, teacher," said Ea
sier triumphantly. Harper's.
r A BETTER FUTURE
. - , , r
"Ha, ha! In training, my boy, t
become a war correspondent?"
"Shucks, no. There's notirin' in
war corresponding any more. I got
a better hunch."
''Becomin' a censor!" .