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Newspaper Page Text
J 4 LED HIM ON, The ladles were discussing a wed ding which took place In their church the previous day. "And do you know," continued the first best-informed lady of the party, "just as Frank and the widow started up the aisle to the altar every light In the church went otjt?" y This startling bit of Information was greeted by a number, of "Oh!" "What did the couple do" then?" finally inquired one. "Kept on going. The widow knew her way." o o - GOT HIS ANGORA Mrs. Clayton (at the opera) The opera seems to be boring you terri bly, PauL "Why, you look absoluetly disgusted. Mr. Clayton (an 'efficiency expert) The opera's all right, Jliima, but that fool conductor is making hun dreds of unnecessary motions. Puck., , NOT INTIMATE At one of the New England univer sities there was a rather conceited undergraduate, who was silly enough on one occasion to attempt to chaff a member of the faculty who, in the youth's opinion, evinced too marked a devotion to the words of Henry Spencer. "Do you know, sir," the youth said jto his preceptor, "I hold rattier a con tempt for Spencer?" "I greatly fear, young man," was. the response, "that your contempt has not been bred "by familiarity."--. Lippincott's. . THE ESSENTIAL "I suppose that there are many problems which Polar' explorerstseek to solve?" said the unscientific man. "Yes," replied the intrepid traveler; "a great many." "What is the most important one?" "Getting back." KNOW THIS TRAIN? ' Stranger (at station) Whatjrain is this? Station Master That's the 4:Q3 lasfMonday afternoon. You'll get to Podunfcat half past 3 the day before yesterday, according to the time table. Philadelphia Public Ledger. o o 1 W Wptett-ybuV e a. iestt rma. mute xtui, itttitaXtnd att for darltaK fctdW