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Newspaper Page Text
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T " 1
'And what," asked the cannibal
chieftain, in his kindest tones, "was
your business before you -were cap
tured by toy men? "
"I "was a newspaper man," an-
hswered the captive.
"No; merely a sub-editor-" -
"Chder up, young man," said the
cannibal, smacking his lips, '.'shortly
will be editor-in-chief."
v "Mr. Moneybags, what are you go
ing to make of your son?"
lie's got a girl who's making a mon-
oi nun. ttua&io .Express.
ON THE SAFE SIDE
Landlord "I hope you find -the
place substantial and in every way
Tenant (doubtfully) "Well, I
think it safer to go outside to sneeze,."
"I wouldn't have minded what you
said about me," said the man who-,
protests muaiy, "u you naoni Dee
so inconsistent." j
"What do you mean?" asked the
Your sense of proportion is wrong.
In that letter you wrote about me
you started out by saying my head
was swelled, and in the next sentence
you refer to me as a pinhead." j
SELDOM SEEN ju
For the1 third time in the week-iN
had been given fried bacon for his
dinner when he returned from work,!
consequently he was -not in a. ery4
good humor. During the meal hlf
loving spouse chanced to remark:
"There's a black cat been on our I
doorstep this morslng, James. that's '
a sign there's a stranger comin'. X
wonder who it can be?" i
"Well," replied James, gazing I
glumly at has plate, cl wouldn't be
surprised if it was th' butcher."
vT 'i .
"Mister, can you tell me where
'Do you want one for your dog, '
"Of course. Who did you" think lj
wante to get one for?"