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Newspaper Page Text
for the followirig"week's performance
would not be on sale before Monday
noon. "Hum," I said, "that's funny,
you have a sign out here that reads,
'Seats sold two weeks in advance.'
What's the idea?" '"Ohi he said, "the
fellow just put that sign up today.
Anyhow, he didn't know what he was
doing, for we won't have any tickets
Monday night I rushed over from
work. The following conversation
"Can you give me two tickets for
Christmas night, about the 3d or 4th
"The best I can give you is the
"Do you mean to tell me you have;
sold out ten solid rows since noon?
"Yes, we've had a busy day." '
"How many rows have you sold to
scalpers?" "Not a seat"
Having been there before I remem
bered that the balcony was but a few
rows back from the stage, and, after
finding I could get two seats in the
first row center, I paid down three
good American dollars, took my two
pasteboards and departed.
It didn't take long after the first
curtain went up to find out I "had paid'
$1.50 for a 75-cent show. During
intermission I discovered at least 30
empty seats in the first five rows
I went home a sadder but wiser
man, for the octopus had killed the
goose that laid the golden egg and if
the rest of the suckers were like my
self it wouldn't take long before the
loop theaters would be playing to
empty seats, for it will be-many a
moon before they tease another three
dollars from yours truly. John
DUST, It blows into our homes,
soils pur clothes and spreads disease.
Tlie conditions that the Chicago
streets are in, especially those streets
feat cars run on, is a crime against
There is a trail of dust raised by
each team fcnd car, the air in the cars
being almost unbreathable. If all the
streets were kept in as good condition
as the loop streets the saving in
money, from death and sickness
cause dby dust, would be enormous
-more than repaying the cost of keep
ing all the streets clean.
It is the duty of the ofllcials of Chi
cago to see that the streets are kept
clean, protecting the people against
disease and death caused by dirt and
dust. When they fail to do this they
are guilty of wholesale murder. J.
Lipsitz, 530 S. Lawndale av.
SCARS OF WAR
"What you been doln' to yer house
'at makes it look so queer, Ezra?"
"I'll tell ye, Hirum. I put a few
loads o' buckshot in th' gable. Th'
architec' said it wuz modeled after a
French chateau, an' I want it ter
look like one."
Germany is credited with having
no fewer than 100,000 motor vehicles
in military use