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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 15, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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Lady Bountiful (to dry goods
clerk) Have you any nice warm un
New Assistant Oh, yes, Miss,
i o o
"Have you decided on a present
for your husband, Mrs. Comeup?"
"Yes; I'm going to buy him an an
tiquarian for his gold fish.'V-Baltimore
in nee poultry sectjomO
. VJT AS? -
A man who always insisted on ask
ing his solicitor's advice on the slight
est occasion entered the lawyer's of
fice one morning when he was excep-n
tionally busy. Tirown of Bentown
has insulted me," he said, "he has
threatened to pull my nose whenever
he meets me. What would you ad
vise me to do?"
'Tf he threatened to do that," said
the lawyer, "my advice is that you
soap your nose well; then it will slip
through his fingers. Good morning!
My bin win come in due course!"
o o .
BARRELS OF BOOTY.
"Heard about the robbery down t'
th' five an' ten-cent store last night?"'
"Nope. D'they git much?"
"Yep. They was in there two
hours and carried away nearly a dol
lars' wuth. o' goods. Puck.
"They are always bragging about
"Yes, from the way they talk you
would almost imagine they had se
lected them themselves."
EARNED HIS WREATH
"You say you're a moving picture
"Yes, my wife makes me go to
them every night." Pearson's
"Waiter, this knife is blunt and the
steak is like leather."
"Ow'd it do to strop-the knife on
the steak, sir?" Boston Globe.
ITS BETTER TER
SPEND Fi FEW
MINUTES IN FINDING
OUT WHETHER M
Tt-ttiG IS WORTH
DOING- BEFORE V'
SPEND HOURS IXJ
YOURS TTJOFLY. - f
U- U v
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