OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 15, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-03-15/ed-1/seq-17/

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WELL FIXED
Lady Bountiful (to dry goods
clerk) Have you any nice warm un
d srclothing?
New Assistant Oh, yes, Miss,
thank you.
i o o
OLD STUFF!
"Have you decided on a present
for your husband, Mrs. Comeup?"
"Yes; I'm going to buy him an an
tiquarian for his gold fish.'V-Baltimore
American.
in nee poultry sectjomO
. VJT AS? -
$
BAFFLING DEVICE
A man who always insisted on ask
ing his solicitor's advice on the slight
est occasion entered the lawyer's of
fice one morning when he was excep-n
tionally busy. Tirown of Bentown
has insulted me," he said, "he has
threatened to pull my nose whenever
he meets me. What would you ad
vise me to do?"
'Tf he threatened to do that," said
the lawyer, "my advice is that you
soap your nose well; then it will slip
through his fingers. Good morning!
My bin win come in due course!"
o o .
BARRELS OF BOOTY.
"Heard about the robbery down t'
th' five an' ten-cent store last night?"'
"Nope. D'they git much?"
"Yep. They was in there two
hours and carried away nearly a dol
lars' wuth. o' goods. Puck.
SELF-MADE.
"They are always bragging about
their ancestors."
"Yes, from the way they talk you
would almost imagine they had se
lected them themselves."
EARNED HIS WREATH
"You say you're a moving picture
hero?"
"Yes, my wife makes me go to
them every night." Pearson's
Weekly.
o o
GOOD IDEA
"Waiter, this knife is blunt and the
steak is like leather."
"Ow'd it do to strop-the knife on
the steak, sir?" Boston Globe.
o o
B'G01lr FU-ERS
ITS BETTER TER
SPEND Fi FEW
MINUTES IN FINDING
OUT WHETHER M
Tt-ttiG IS WORTH
DOING- BEFORE V'
SPEND HOURS IXJ
DOIN IT
YOURS TTJOFLY. - f
WIU.UM
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