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Newspaper Page Text
r HE GOE HISS SEAT TO A ""
PRETTY 6IRL HE KfJEUl.PRESEMTLV
HE SAIDi"MSS JOAJES, I DINK J
BOTH MY FEET ISS S
GETTING BACK AT HER
The teacher, a lady of uncertain
age, was having a hard time teach
ing Johnny the names of the presi
dents. "Why, when I was your age," she
said disgustedly, "I could recite the
names of the presidents backward
'Tes'm," said Johnny, "but when
you was my age dey wasn't so many
presidents." Ladies' Home Journal.
A SAD CASE
The worried countenance of the
bridegroom disturbed the- best man.
Tiptoeing up the aisle, he whispered:
"What's the matter, Jock? Hae
ye lost the ring?"
"No," blurted out the unhappy
Jock, "the ring's safe eno'. But, mon,
I've lost ma enthusiasm." Youth's
He When I proposed to Flossie
she asked me for a little time to make
up her mind.
She (the hated rival) Oh! So she
makes that up, too, does she? ;
A little boy of five was invited tQ
a children's party. The next day he
was giving an account of the fun, and
said that each of the little visitors
had contributed either a song, a reci
tation, or music for the pleasure of
"Oh, poor little Jack!" said his
mother, "how very unfortunate you
could do nothing!"
"Yes, I could, mother," replied the
young hopefuL "I stood up and said
A HABITATION AND A NAME
Jigg-r-My landlady is a regular old
Jagg A what?
Jigg Just that! Because I owe
her a little money, she is always lay?
ing for me! Puck.
"Flubdub is pretty mean, isn't he?"
"Mean? Why, say, that fellow is
mean enough to have his name en
graved on the handle of his um
DID'CHR EVER NOTICE
FELLERS DAT TH
BURDEN OP WEALTH
IS TH ONLY BORDEN
THAT E.VBJZY FELLER
IS WIUJN& TER HELP