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Newspaper Page Text
THE DAY BOOK
N. D. COCHRAN
EDITOR AND PUBLISHER.
S00 SO. PEORIA. 8T. . CHICAGO, ILL.
SUBSCRIPTION By Carrier Jn Chicago.
30 cents a Month. By Mall, United
States, and Canada, J 3.00 a Tear.
Entered as second-class matter April
- 21, 1914, at the postottlce at Chicago,
III, under the Act of March I, 1878.
THE WOODEN-LEGGED. Ad
dressing the Kansas editors on the
subject, "Wooden Legs," P. L. Van
degrift said that every man who has
a wooden leg has an uncontrollable
desire to fraternize with other men
who have wooden legs. Once when
he was sitting in a park at Las Ve
gas four men, strangers to one an
other, entered. All had wooGen legs.
They got together and in five min
utes were trying on one another's
legs. Two of them traded. A man
he met had all the battles he had
fought painted on his wooden leg. An
other painted his wooden leg in deep
mourning when his wife died. A
'friend of his uses his cork leg as a
life preserver when bathing. Another
utilizes his as a propeller. A vain
man he met had his wooden leg tat
toqed. In San Francisco. a wooden
legged friend showed Mr. Vander
, grift a national magazine published
in the interests of wooden legs, called
the Wooden Leg. By means of this
publication men all over the world
traded wooden legs by paying for
want ads in it! Mr. Vandergrift once
knew a man who had seven wooden
legs, one of them for Sunday. Kan
sis City Star.
o o -
An Atlanta boy has mirror eyes
that cause him to see everything
backward. He ought to be raised to
be a college president.
Germany short of metal to make
shells? Nonsense, not while they
have all those decorations to melt up.
Gen. Villa ought to require the next
fellow he makes president of Mexico
to give bonds not to take what's left
of the treasury.
Pitchfork Ben Tillman says a fleet
could wreck New York in ten min
utes. That's nothing, one live guy
from San Francisco can put it on the
bum in five.
An American warship has been
rushed to the Argentine to help with
the wheat harvest. By next July Sec
retary Bryan may have some use for
our navy in Nebraska.
The fellow who has less faith in
human .nature than any other is the
claim agent of a street railway com
pany who paid- a patient $3,000 to
settle a damage suit, and then
watched while the patient dressed
and fox trotted with the nurses!
THE PUBLIC FORUM
WHERE MAN FAILS. Tnere's
many a man when out with men as
serts his rights by weight of yen, and
also makes the whole world think his
way when it's as clear as ink. He'll
prance and strut and pace around
and paste the coward to the ground.
He'll blow his ideals to the crowd in
preaching high and shrill and loud,
and get a following of men who
praise him up by word and pen. Ho
is their leader brave and bold, the
greatest man the world could mold.
They laud his doings to the skies and
make the hoary welkins rise, with
songs to him, that mighty man, the
leader of the whole blamed clan. His
ev'ry word and act is thought to be
the highest tribute brought from all
the ages down to now. All beings to
his feet will bow. That's how he is
when he's away from home, among
the men of clay. But when his home
is reeked with strife and he starts
preaching to his wile, all the meji
mma. .ifcsfcA Aiare-.