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Newspaper Page Text
" wgmwn" ' i"
A THAN IM THE r
SOFT SHORT SHUNTS A
I sist&r susie sews!
"How much is radium worth an
ounce?" asked the man with an
"That," replied the practical per
son, "is an idle question. .After you
get through imagining an ounce of
radium v you haven't imagination
enough left to imagine the price."
, o o
"That fellow Smith drinks like a
fish," said Brown.
"That's queer," responded Jones,
"he told me that he never touched
water." Cincinnati Enquirer. '
Mrs. Newlywed I want a cook,
but she must be capable.
Head of employment agency.
Modam, I have several on my books
capable of .anything. Judge.
" o o
NONE, SO BLIND
"How is it Ididn't see you at the
charity meeting last night?"
"Jt was I who passed the plate
WORE EM OUT
A teacher had been at great trouble
to explain to her class the meaning
of the word "notwithstanding," and,
on asking for a sentence in which the
word occurred, was somewhat non
plussed to receive the following ef
fort from a blushing maiden of gome
I eight summers and winters;
"Please, miss, my little brother has
a hole in the seat of his trousers, and
it's notwithstanding "
"Sis won't be able to see you to
night, Mr. Jones," said her little
brother. "She's had a turtle acci
dent" "Is that so? What happened?"
"All her hair got burned up." '
"Good heavens! Was she burned?"
"Naw, she wasn't there." Pitts
A GUESSING GAME
Editor Who brought this con
founded list of 200 people attending
the dance last night?
Office Boy A lady.
Editor Why didn't she leave her
Office Boy Yes. She said It's one
of those on the list.