Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
,V Z---- f Y6SS.
r IMPROVED HER
Mr. Whittier, What delightful
' maners your daughter has!
Mrs. Biler (proudly) Yes; you
see, she has been away from home so
much. Smart Set. f '
Irritable Old Man Say, does this
" car always make this racket?
Chauffeur No7 sir; only when it's
running. Buffalo Express.
- o o
"Has your husband the golf fever?"
"I guess so. He's started studying
t the game from a book." Detroit
, Free Press.
IT DOESN'T EXIST
William Pop, what's a paradox?
Father A paradox, my son, is a
, woman who wears silk stockings and
? tries to keep it a secret. Pack.
"There is no such thing as luck."
"There isn't, eh? "Did you ever see
anybody upset an inkstand when it
FRAMING A SURPRISE
Pat came out of the house, laugh
ing all over hfcface. He started down
the street, turned the corner in the
direction of a saloon, still laughing,
when he ran into a friend.
"Say, what strikes you so funny?"
inquired the friend.
"Well," said Pat, "Mike's .been in
the habit of hitting my vest pocket
where I carry my cigars, and break
ing them all the' time. By jabers, I'll
fix him now; I got a stick of dyna
mite in there." Phila. Record.
ARRIVING AT IT
A young student was one day walk
ing through a certain town, when he
met an old half-wit, whom he thought
to chaff. Going up to him, he said:
"Well, John, can you tell me how
long a man can live without brains?"
"Na, me," said John, "I'm sure I
couldnadae that; but hoo auld are ye,
HERES R LITTLE ADVICE
FER YOU YOUNG FELLERS
PflT ARE 'TEMPLRITIN'
"LOVE WONT BUY
BREAD NOR RRY
THE GflS BILL!"
J j Biwrs rPFT"'"
was empty?" Judge,
sSw V -SmI
PVq" V ' "
j. vt 1 " L2S1K!m