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Newspaper Page Text
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THERE'S A LAUCH AND A TEAR
IN THIS PARTICULAR COURT
In the court of domestic relations,
which has been called the court of
domestic revelationsthe queer twists
of humanity reveal "themselves by
turning tragedy into comedy and a
laugh follows every tear.
Anton Kovolsky and his wife were
very sad. It was Anton's first arrest
and the first time his wife had to ap
pear against him in a court .
And then the story unfolded. An
ton had expressed his determination
to go out one night Friend wife said
he couldn't go. He said he would.
She locked him in their bedroom and
then went to sleep and while she was
asleep Anton jumped from the second-story
window, landed unhurt and
didn't go home again.
Mrs. Kovalsky awoke in due course
of time and missed Anton. She
hunted for him in the closet, under
the bed, etc, and then, discovering
the window open, looked for his re
mains in the street.
They said they would kiss and
make up, but as the wife left the
court she said to Judge Sabath: "And
I'll put bars on that window."
John Grzybowske, 1509 Elston av.,
was a chivalrous soul. And he had a
talkative lawyer. Mrs. John was a
frail thing with a black bruise on her
chin. It was a mark of affection from
"Tell the court what led to that
blow," said the lawyer.
John told. Mrs. John had said
something uncomplimentary about
his mother. No real man lets a
woman say uncomplimentary things
about his mother. John figured it
out for a week then he gave his wife
a punch in the jaw.
"Your honor,' 'said the lawyer,
"this woman causes this man to
strike her by buzzing around all the
time. You can realize that she would
drive a man to such an action, by her
buzzing. Listen to her buzzing now."
"Too bad she hasn't a brother big
.ger than-John," said thejudge.-
."He might buzz for her," said
State's Atfy O'Reilly.
John was ordered to pay his wife
$8 a week.
L Martin Bane said his wife drove
him to drink. Mrs. Martin had red
hair and snapping blue eyes. She
said Martin didn't work. He said he
did the best he could. The judge told
hi mto take any kind of a job even if
he only got $10 a week.
"Judge," said Martin, "she spends
all her time in her mother's rooming
house. If I took a $10 job she'd stand
at the front door and yell through the
30 rooms: 'Here comes my $10
Mrs. Peter Carlson also" had red
hair and Peter called her a "white
hope." He said she wasn't quite as
clever as Jess Willard, but she was
mighty fine in landing her punches,
just the same, and sometimes she
varied' the punches with lighted
"That isn't true," said Mrs. Carl
son. "He blackened my eye a few
days ago. You can see, it ain't faded
"I didn't," said Peter. "She got
fussing and bumped her eye against
Peter was put on probation.
GUARDS SPOILED THE SHOW
New York. "I'm going on next,"
announced a pajamaed and bath
robed, young man on the back stage
at Miner's theater. Then the guards
came and removed the escaped one
to the bughouse.
A COUPLE OF "FOOLS"
Washington. Maj. Pullman, Wash
ington's new policechief, says all
street accidents originate with the
"automobile fool" and the "pedes
THEY ALL FELL FOR IT
Akron, O. Police are looking for
a rubber goods salesman who adver
tised for nervy girls to learn aviation.
He sold fifty of them rubber aviatiQn
suits at $60 -each and disappeared. .