Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Reporter I've a good piece of
news here this morning. I found a
person who has been confined to one
room his entire life.
Editor Good! Send him up. Who
Reporter Why, a three-day-old
baby down at our house. ,
"The account of this battle has a
J"What do you mean?"
"It says the well-seasoned troops
were mustered out and then peppered
with shot" Baltimore American.
4 TIT FOR TAT
Doctor How much are you going
to charge me for winning that law
Lawyer How much are you going
to charge me for removing my ap
J HIS VARIETY
"What kind of snake was it that
turned and bit you so quickly?"
"I don't know, but I think it must
have been one of those automatic
A PRIZE RELIC
A professor of Illinois University,
who is very popular among the stu
dents, was entertaining a group ol
them at his residence one night Tak-
ing down a magnificent sword that
hung over the fireplace, he .brandish
ed it about, exclaiming: '
"Never will I forget the day I drew
this blade for tie first time."
"Where did you draw it, sir?" an
awestruck freshman asked.
"At a raffle," said the professor.
JUMPED AT CONCLUSIONS
Beetles Heavens, man! That
wasn't a collector you threw out then
he was a customer!
Waller It was the second time I
saw him here. A customer never
comes here more than once.
A GIFTED WOMAN
"Is your wife so very economical? "
"Oh, yes, very. Why, my wife can
take an old wojn-out hat, spend $15
on it and make it look almost as good
ap new." Puck.
A FELLER THINK5
HE IS MARRYING-fl
"PEACH" AN' F1ND5
OUT IN AFTER
YEARS DAT HE GOT
a I FMON 1
Pt sgeads3JiseiL Jndfift