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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 29, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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VOT DIT fcoN'T KNOW. )
(YOU PICK ( I THOUGHT
SOT UP i ( JT UMSS A j
The cub reporter reported to the
office. He was distrait, blues, broken
"What ails thee, child?" queried
the kind-hearted city editor.
"It was my first assignment," ex-
, plained the cub, "and I found out that
another legend had gone glimmering.
De Fault, the thieving bank cashier,
had never taught in Sunday school."
o o -
The mistress, not wishing to offend
her cook, who had been with her only
two weeks, announced in a low, well
"I am sorry, Ellen, but Mr. Blank
found fault with your -cooking to
day." "Lor', I don't take no notice of 'im,
mum; it's his blessed nature to find
fault. Ain't he always findin fault
with you?" Top Notch.
SPOKE IN FRAGMENTS
"You broke your word'
"I d-d-d-idn't" -
"There you go, breaking another."
New York Times.
HAD A PERSONAL SOUND
In a town in the West there is a
church that has a bright youngr pas
tor, but the attendance is unfortun
ately small. Among the parishioners
there is a beautiful young wjdow.
One evening just as the little widow
was about to leave the edifice, she
was addressed by the deacon.
"Good evening, sister!" he cordially
remarked, with the usual handshake.
"How did you like the sermon this
"I think that it was just too per
fectly lovely for anything!"
"It was, indeed!" heartily returned
the deacon. "I only wish that larger
congregations would come to hear
"So do I," declared the pretty little
widow. "The congregation was so
small tonight that every time the par
son said 'dearly beloved', I positively
"George," said Hilda, looking up
from the morning paper, which she
was reading, "it says here that an
other octogenarian is dead. What is
"Well, I don't know what they are
but they must be very sickly crea
tures. You never hear of them but
they are dying." Pittsburgh Chronicle.
IS SOMTMS EflS)ER
TER SETTLE DOWN
THAN IT IS TER
SETTLE UP .'
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