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Newspaper Page Text
ST SOOTNBSS "
The Bchoolmaster wanted to know
whether the boys had an understand
ing: of the'functions of an American
f"SupposIng," he began, "some one
took you up in. an aeroplane, and
after a long, exciting flight, dropped
you down -thousands of miles from
home In a country quite foreign, what
lace would you seek out first of all?"
An eager hand, was instantly up
lifted. "Well, Willie, what do you say?"
"Please, sir, the hospital." Top
HISTORY A LA NEW YORK
Mr. Taberdash Emily, who was if
said "Give me liberty or give me
Mrs. Haberdash Harry Thaw.
A DESPERATE CASE
"Why are you leaving my boarding
house, Mr. Longfayce?"'
"I have found out, Mrs. Meeger
feed, that my tapeworm has indiges
IN,A NEW-ROLE ,
Here's another about those little
cars that everybody jokes about but
gets there just the same.
He travels for a firm that sells salt.
Instead of using the trains he buys a
new automobile every spring and uses
it as transportation to see the salt
trade. He got his new car a few days
ago and asked one of his fair friends
to ffllrfi 3, rids
"Certainly," she said. "I'd be de
lighted." Away they went Presently he no
ticed a significant smile stealing over
"Why the smile?" he inquired anx
"Well," she replied. "I've heard of t
these cars being called everything in
the world, but this is the first time I
ever heard of one being a salt seller."
did you leave your
"The master kissed me,, mum."
"And you didn't like it, eh?"
r. x'Oh, I liked it aU right, mum; but
the missus didn't."
n;S ABOUT AS EASY
TO .LIVE HAPPILY
WITH TH' WRONG
WOMAN PS IT IS TO
RUN AN flUTER MOBILE
WITH SguRE WHEELS