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him. Oh, my dear, if only we could
have rented the place.lt was just the
sort of little home we wanted, wasn't
"Well, the new people may be a de
cent crowd,isaid Willis, smiling.
The day camethe great day. The
furniture had duly arrived and had
been installed by the new housekeep
er from the city. A housekeeper, a
professional one who refused to an
swer strangers' questions, was a new
thing in Piketown. Nevertheless, al
though an atmosphere decidedly un
favorable had been created, all the
village assembled, casually, if you
like, but determined to see the thing
through, when the closed carriage
from the railroad station drew up be
fore the door.
It opened and out stepped Uncle
He was wearing a new suit and his
new hat was decidedly well, natty is
the only word. But the gasp that went
up was nothing to the amazement
when he harided out, all silk and
satin and lace, and with a new lilac
bonnet Myrtle Shaw.
The old man turned and addressed
"Friends," he said, "come in. I
have something to say to you, by re
quest of my wife. I didn't want to say
it, but she wants me to, and a wom
an's word is law. Come in. Hello,
Cousin Smith. Just run and fetch
Millie, will you? Never mind. That
you, Willis? Can you, get her? Jt
isn't far and what I have tosay will
keep till she arrives."
In awed amazement the crowd fol
lowed the old couple into the parlor,
and there, again as they looked at
the mahogany and tapestries, they
were struck dumb with amazement
"Now, neighbors," began Uncle
Thomas, "you will be glad to hear
that my affairsjiave taken a turn, for
the better. I'm back again and my
wife wants me to say we'll be glad to
see you all any time, as before, but
especially Sunday night, when-we're,
going to have chicken suppers. That
will be about alL"
"But' blustered Cousin Smith,
"What was it you didn't want to say
but was told to by Myrtle by your
"That was it," replied Uncle Thom
as. 'That's all. Naturally, I felt a bit
sore at the way you've treated me,
but Mrs. your aunt, that's to say
wants bygones to be bygones, so you
and Cousin Sadie and Cousin Martha
must learn to forget. And now we'll
bid you farewell, folks, seeing as we
are on our honeymoon, but whea
Niece Millie and Cousin Willis don't
blush like that, Millie come back
from theirs we're going to form a
family of four and hit things up."
Outside the house the gaping
crowd surrounded Millie and her
"Well, it's about like this," admit
ted Willis Carter. "It seems that Un
cle Thomas was in love with Mrs."
Shaw for years, but she wouldn't
have him because she lost all her
money and had nothing to bring to
him. So he pretended to have lost
his and went to the poorhouse and
when he'd convinced her he persuad
ed her to marry him. They went to
the minister last Monday and then
he let out that he had a cool $30,000
in hard cash. Yes, it's strange his tak
ing such a liking to Millie and me and
wanting us to live there and be his
heirs. Why, what's the trouble?"
The trouble seemed- to be the si
multaneous fainting of two elderly la
dies and Cousin Smith's uncertainty
as 'to -which of them he ought to re
THANKS FOR THE POME!
By Tom Levish.
A warning ominous to flirts
In words of wisdom lies:
The wind that raises fair maids'
Blows dust in bad men'seyes.
o o-: "
Solomon was the first person who
wanted to split fifty-fifty. -
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