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Newspaper Page Text
f. & t& " i fin " N
. V 5uR.e hb vent )
. W? jWs WAV. y
FORCE- OF HABIT
"Now, my dear, you must positive
ly forget shop if you are going into
fsociety with me."
, "What nave I done?" inquired the
, "Why, you feel the pulse of every
body who extends a hand."
o o j. . '
"How long have they been mar
ried?" 'About five years."
. "Did she make him a good wife?"
' "Nor but she made him an awfully
Igood husband." Judge.
I o o
) THE DIFFICULTY
-. "Do you sleep like a baby
-, "No," replied the patient "One
night when I was all lit up I tried it,
tiut the perambulator was too short
for me." Judge.
' , CARELESS
"No,' sir," "thundered the hotel
clerk, "you can't bring your friend in
Jaere. This is atemperance hotel."
' "Oh, well," replied the man, "he's
too drunk to care."
A woman who lives in the south
ern part of the city and is precise
in her language has found a great
deal of difficulty in getting her
youngest son to respect the niceties
of the English language. The worst
habit the little fellow his is dropping
thcfinal "g" on words ending in that
At a party in honor of his birthday
he remarked before all the assembled
guests, "What a good time I'm
"Willie, Willie," the mother remon
strated, "you forgot your 'g'."
'Oh, yes, spoke up Willie, "I should
say, 'Gee, what a good time I'm
"Why do you write articles on how
cheaply people can live .if they try?"
"In the hope of getting enough
money to avoid having to live that
way." Washington Star.
r o o
"I hear that Jones is on his uppers;
is It true?"
"I guess so. I met him this morn
ing and he said he expected to be on
his feet in a few days." Omaha Bee.
B'GOU-Y, WHEN THE
RIGHT FELuER MARRIES
THE RIGHT GIRL HE
WONT BE TRYIN TEK FtD
EXCUSES TER GO DOWN
TOWN EVERY NiGfTT '