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Newspaper Page Text
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T BISMARCK'S REPROOF'-1
"I wish I was an angel," sighed a
little English girl recently, "for then
I could drop bombs on the Germans."
Which reminds us of a Bismarck
story. Bismarck was shot at one day
and his wife, greatly incensed at the
would-be "assassin, declared that if
she was in heaven and saw'him com
ing up Ta ladder she would push him
down into JielL "Hush, my dear,"
said Bismarck:.. "You .wonld not be
there "with, such thoughts as those."
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, - ADEPT
"Doypu. think that Skinner can
makelajiving out there?"
Mke,ajliving! Why, he'd make a
living on'a.rock in the middle of the
ocean, if there was another man on
( vcnrf yess ! no -v
V Aih't irf or sa rr, 5
, HE HEDGED
Walter (in restaurant) What will
you have, to drink, sir coffee, tea or
Guest How's the coffee good?
Waiter Excellent, sir; just like
your mother used to make.
Guest Huh! Gimme a cup of tea.
FEUU-ERS XFJVE HEHDS
LIKE BELLS -4D S
NUFFIN IN DEM '
EXCEPT R TONGUE"!
Wup"ii tj.y r
PERHAPS BROKEN ON THE BAR
One of the best stories of Scar
borough and it is authentic comes
from a village near the coast, where
the news trickled through during the
day in various forms.
"The Grand hotel has been
Lwrecked," said one of the villagers
who Is looked upon as an autnonty.
"Really!" said his surprised ac
quaintance. "Was it torpedoed?"
"You have your father's eyes," de
clared grandma, looking earnestly at
the young girl.
"And you have your mother's
"No; this is sister's hair," faltered
the girL "And she said I could bor
row it." SL Louis Post-Dispatch.
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BETWEEN TWO TERRORS
Small Visitor And how is your
Penelope Thank you, poor mum
mie's a bit below herself this morn
ing what with the cook and the kai
ser, London Punch.
m'lttiaxjsMU mi wwttui . 1. 1 Ji.mu.1 -wiifru mi