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Newspaper Page Text
'I HKlT tDCR NO Y "Me hzk WAV
I WORSE AND WORSE
Nprvous etiest Tasked to ait next
to his hostess andjapposite the goose)
Am I to sit so close to the goose?
(Suddenly feeling this may be mis
understood) Er I mean the roast
"Tlrown's an inouisitive chao. Com-
finE' home from the club last night he
Iclimbed up a high gate post to see
gwhat tne sign was at xne iop.
i'What was it?"
KThey were discussing the war.
BJIn France," said Mr. tatyman,
kt wiam hrv oil ovnorf ffmporc "
L"Wall, I swan!" exclaimed Parmer
iMedergrass. Rail or barbed wire?"
Els .pniNT IN ITS FAVOR
OfAtticus Here's my latest picture,
KJITfie Battle." I tell you, war's a ter-
fc.Criticus Oh, I don't think it's so
"Now, boys," said the school mas
ter, "I want you to bear in mind that
the word 'stan' at the end of a word
means 'the place of.' Thus we have
Afghanstan the place of the Afgh
ans; also Hindustan the place of the
Hindus. Can any one get another ex
ample?" Nobody appeared very anxious to
do so until little Johnny Snaggs, the
joy of his mother and the terror of
cats, said proudly:
"Yes, sir; I can. Umbrellastan the
place 'for umbrellas." Kansas City
She kept chattering away when
he was trying hard to follow the per
formance. "Did you ever listen to a play with
your eyes shut?" she went on, ag
gravatingly. "No," he replied, out of patience,
"but suppose you try listening to it
with your mouth shut" Boston
vWell, boy, did you get the stamps
at the postoffice?"
"No, sir; the postoffice is closed.
It's a holiday."
"Why, this isn't a holiday."
"Oh, yes, it is the Dostmaster's
fbad as it's paintedj