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Newspaper Page Text
MSS A M4RR0W SC4Pff ) fj-
wrTiMel r try r..
A BARE SUBSTITUTE
"This magazine discusses substi
tutes for petticoats."
"Some girls seem to think a brace
let makes a very good substitute."
New York Globe.
Judge Yours Is a very serious
crime, my man. Fifty years ago it
was a hanging matter.
Horse Thief Well, your honor,
fifty years hence It mayn't be a crime
at all. Tit-Bits.
f SOME ARE UNLUCKY
"All men are fools!" exclaimed the
"True," agreed the optimist, "but
they are not reminded so often of it
if they remain Bingle." Punch.
BusIness Father I received quite
a number of sealed proposals at the
Eager Daughter Were any of them
addressed to me, pa? Baltimore
"You called me a bone-headed
"Well, I don't care about your opinr
ion, but, for heaven's sake, don't mix
your metaphors." Louisville Courier-Journal.
TO BE SURE
He Are your feet tired, darling?
Her No. Why?
He Would' you mind dancing on
them? Mine are. Michigan Gar
EVIDENTLY AN AID
Williamson What books have
helped Hooker most?
Henderson The ones he borrowed
from me, I suppose. He never re
turned them. Judge.
o o -
"If I could get some one to Invest
a thousand pounds in that scheme of
mine I could make some money."
"How much could you make?"
"Why, a thousand pounds
Cop Do you know what I'll do the
next time I catch you looking through
a knothole in the baseball fence?
Boy Sure, you'll chase me away
1 and look through yourself.