Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
oh, xot "Poor N
( FeeusR.? i wiT
X WITT Uta- V
' husband? J Ct)
There is a certain Ohio judge whose
wit has enlivened many a dull case.
On one occasion counsel made in his
court this statement on behalf of a.
plaintiff of somewhat bibulous ap
"My client, your honor, is a most
remarkable man and holds a very
responsible position; he is manager
of a waterworks."
After a survey of the client his
"Yes, he looks like a man who
could be trusted with any amount of
Stella Packers say that meat
animals can't catch up with the con
sumer. Bella Ever have a bull chase you ?
i New York Sun. .
I TOO FINICKY
"Why are you fooling so long with
that clock, Hortense?"
"I am cleaning its hands, madam!"
"Well, just wipe 'em. You need
not manicure 'em." Judge. ,
A man came into a dog show one
day leading a most disreputable dog
by a length of rope.
"Where's the judge?" he demand
ed. "What do you want the judge for?
asked an attendant.
"Want to show my dog," said the
"Show that?" queried the other.
"Why, you surely don't think that
weird object has any chance of tak
ing a prize?"
"Why not?" demanded the offend
"Oh, well," said the attendant, "his
legs are enough, without anything
else. Why, man, they're miles too
"Too short!" retorted the dog's
owner fiercely. "Too short? What
more do you want? They touch the
ground, don't they?" Top-Notch.
, o o
Wife Which of these hats do you
like best, love? They're both th.e
Hubby In that case' my dear, I'm
absolutely neutral. N. Y. World.
Squirrel And when the hounds
chased you how did you manage to
leave them behind?
Fox I ran with them through a
r.. ..... , . -V