OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 24, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-05-24/ed-1/seq-17/

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TRUSTWORTHY
There is a certain Ohio judge whose
wit has enlivened many a dull case.
On one occasion counsel made in his
court this statement on behalf of a.
plaintiff of somewhat bibulous ap
pearance:
"My client, your honor, is a most
remarkable man and holds a very
responsible position; he is manager
of a waterworks."
After a survey of the client his
honor replied:
"Yes, he looks like a man who
could be trusted with any amount of
water."
o o
AN EXCEPTION
Stella Packers say that meat
animals can't catch up with the con
sumer. Bella Ever have a bull chase you ?
i New York Sun. .
o o
I TOO FINICKY
"Why are you fooling so long with
that clock, Hortense?"
"I am cleaning its hands, madam!"
"Well, just wipe 'em. You need
not manicure 'em." Judge. ,
LONG ENOUGH
A man came into a dog show one
day leading a most disreputable dog
by a length of rope.
"Where's the judge?" he demand
ed. "What do you want the judge for?
asked an attendant.
"Want to show my dog," said the
man.
"Show that?" queried the other.
"Why, you surely don't think that
weird object has any chance of tak
ing a prize?"
"Why not?" demanded the offend
ed owner.
"Oh, well," said the attendant, "his
legs are enough, without anything
else. Why, man, they're miles too
short?"
"Too short!" retorted the dog's
owner fiercely. "Too short? What
more do you want? They touch the
ground, don't they?" Top-Notch.
, o o
HER NEUTRALITY
Wife Which of these hats do you
like best, love? They're both th.e
same price.
Hubby In that case' my dear, I'm
absolutely neutral. N. Y. World.
STRATEGY
, ,
Squirrel And when the hounds
chased you how did you manage to
leave them behind?
Fox I ran with them through a
sausage factory,.
r.. ..... , . -V

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