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Newspaper Page Text
.NOJHHNCS 1SS MORe BqS
C1NAT1NG BN STUDYING
7". XS57 A Nice
r A KIND ACT
Father-in-Law Look here, young
man don't you think it's about time
you were going to work, or do you
expect me to support you the rest of
Son-in-Law It would be no more
than fair, just after what I have done
"I'd like to know what you've ever
done for me."
"Why, didn't I take your daughter
off your hands?" Boston Transcript
"Shall I announce that I am in the
race for Congress?"
"Perhaps it would be nearer the
truth to merely state that you are a
candidate, my boy." Louisville
"Why did you insist on delivering a
lecture in the evening instead of the
"I've got evening clothes," replied
young Mr. Hibrow. "And I haven's
any frock caat"r Washington Stazvl
SOMETHING LIKE IT
Educated Egyptian You hava
no wonderful hieroglyphics in your
country, sir; no mysterious inscrip
tions, no undecipherable relics of an
ancient literature whose secrets the
wise men of the world have tried for
ages to discover.
Tourist No, we haven't any of
those things; but brightening up
we've got our Railway Guides.
Grocer (who has lately joined the
territorials, practicing in shop)
Right, left, right, left, four paces to
the rear, march! (Falls down trap
door into the cellar.)
Grocer's Wife (anxiously) Oh,
Jim, are you hurt?
Grocer (savagely, but with dignity)
Go 'way, woman. What do you
know about war? Tit Bits.
A TIP FOR MAMA
Little Grace They say it is un
lucky to hit any one with an old
Little Johnny Gee! I must run
home and tell my mama that before
I forget about it
"Boy, did you see a man pass here
with one eye closed?"
"How did he look?"