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As the celebrated soprano began, to
sing little Johnnie became greatly ex
ercised over the gesticulations of the
"What's that man shaking his stick
at her for?" he demanded - indig
nantly. "Sh-h. He's not shaking his stick
But Johnnie was not convinced.
"Then what in thunder's she hol
Servant (answering bell) My
master isn't in, sir. You may leave
the bill if you wish.
Caller (in surprise) Bill? I have
no bill. I wish to
Servant (in surprise also) No
Till9 THini TTrtii Tnncf Vintm rallo1 of
U1U.1 iU" J"" lilUU.. U.. ,IW.1U HI.
the wrong house.
Recruiting Sergeant I can't en
list you, my good man; you have only
Patriotic Scotsman Hoots! That
dlsna matter. Yeve to shut ae e'e
3yhiayer shootia' anewe
HE WISHED A SPOON
A stranger entered a candy and ice
cream store at Columbus, Ind., and
asked for a quart of ice cream. A
clerk packed a quart in a tin can of
that size, placed ice around it to keep
it from melting, placed the can and
ice in a wooden bucket and handed
over the order.
"Where's a spoon?" asked the
"We do not furnish spoons when
you take the cream home with you,"
the clerk explained.
"I hadn't any notion of taking it
home," the stranger said. "I want
to eat it here."
The spoon was quickly forthcom
ing and without appearing to realize
that he was doing anything out of
the ordinary the man sat down and
calmly ate the whole quart of ice
"I lay wide awake lsst night think
ing of my business."
"Bad plan, old chap; better keep
wide away daytimes." New York
THINGS ARE SO
UNCERTAIN AN YOU
GET SO MUCH YOU
LERST EXPECT THE
MOST DAT YOU
CHNT HARDLY TELL.
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