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Newspaper Page Text
W II Mil llill W W'l- 1
T SOME RELIEF
Patient (gloomily) I don't seem
to be gaining very fast, doctor.
Doctor (cheerfully) You can't
expect to get well at one jump. You
will have to regain your health grad
ually day by day sort of on the in
stalment plan, as it were.
Patient (brightening up) Well,
doctor, if this thing keeps up much
longer, I'm afraid that you will have
to collect your bill the same way.
"Did you enjoy the dance?" asked
"Oh, fairly," answered Tom.
"Some of the girls told me they
didn't enjoy the dance one bit" ,
"Well," said Tom. "1 couldn't
dance with them au."
Tourist What sort of a landlord
have you got here?
Native He's the sort of a man if
he was put on an uninhabited island
he'd stick his hands in the pocket of
the naked savages and rob 'em of
"I hope you like your work, my
lad," said a benlgnantly elderly per
son to an errand boy, as they waited
to cross a street. "Men who take
pride in their work are the men who
"Oh, I'm a record breaker, the
"That's the way for a boy to talk.
Tell me how you do better than the
"I take longer to carry a message
than any of them."
NOTHING TO WORK ON
The jury considered their verdict;
they were no little time over it
"Can I assist you in any way, gen
tlemen?" said the judge, at last be
"We are almost agreed," said the
foreman; "but we can't quite under
stand what the doubt is the prisoner
wishes us to give him- the benefit
' TJebtor I want to pay that little
.bill of yours.
Creditor Thank you, sir; thank
Debtor But I can't
BIG BATTLE '
Mrs. Pan I see there's been a big
Mr. Fan You bet there has. But
we got one run in the ninth and that;