Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
He -was deeply in. love "with Ms
wife, but awfully careless about
$r money matters. He started away on
a long business trip, leaving hershort
j? of money, and promising to Bend her
a check which he forgot to da The
-IkArent came due and she telegraphed:
"Dead broke. Landlord insistent
Wire me money."
Her husband answered:
"Am short myself. "Will send check
in few days. A thousand kisses."
Exasperated, Ms wife replied:
"Never mind money. I gave land
lord one of the kisses. He was more
"What are you trying to play;
' Jane?" called out her father from
:-the next room.
n"It's an exercise from my new in
struction book, Tirst Steps in Mu
sic,' " she answered,
s. "Well, I knew you were plaving
K5 with your feet," he said grimly, "but
g .don't steD so heavilv on the keva
it disturbs my thoughts." Musical
"Pie for breakfast? No thanks!
4 Last Sunday morning I finished my
-breakfast with a piece of pie and
"I had terrible dreams in church."
' Baltimore Sun.
FOLLY BY THE FOOT
"There's one o' them dern new
styles," said Silas.
"What is it? asked Mandy.
"Why, that there sign says, 'Shoes
shined inside.' " Judge.
Father (reprovingly) Do you
know what happens to hare when
Johnny Yes, sir; they lie stillj.
r Mil y jr y j IT
n. y. Sum peeple ask fool quesb
uns all the time.
the other nite i was over to gor
gies house and his maw had been
out in the woods pickin wild flours
a9 day long and she was telling us all
the diffrunt names and things about
the wild flours and where they grow
gorgie is a smart feller ahite and
when his mavrsaid look at this hear
one its a dogtooth violet we all laffed
and when everyone was quiet he asks
hisaw if there was any hair-lip tu
lips in the woods
gorgies maw giv him a look, be
leeve me im glad i aint gorgie cans
his maw always gives bfm his pay
for bein smart when companys their.
HAD JAM ON IT
"When maw asked me if I had been
stealin' jam I said 'Yes.' "
"Aw, why didn't cha' deny it?"
"Cause I didn't have the face ter
tfefUl iii ino