Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
lA4mWMASA9nmm "-' " w '4&
Axel Christensen The other night
we were having dinner in a cafe and
I said to Kerrigan:
"Kerrigan, do you like lettuce?"
"No, sor, oi don't," said Kerrigan,
"and what's more, I'm glad Oi don't,
for av Oi did O'd ate it and Oi hate
A little later, while walking down
the street, we passed a fruit stand
on which were some grapefruit.
"Mighty foine oranges they have
there," said Kerrigan.
"Never saw such large "ones,"
"Indade yer right," said Kerrigan.
"It wouldn't take many of them to
make a dozen."
An Irishman, known for his drink
ing proclivities, entered a saloon in
an Idaho town. He glanced around
the room anxiously and then ad
dressed the bartender as follows:
"Give me some soda water, Bill, but
put it in a beer mug. I don't want
anybody to see me drinking the
"Gee, Pat," said a bystander, "why
are you ashamed of drinking soda?
There's no disgrace in preferring it
"I know," came back Pat, "but I'm
the only toper in town. The temper
ance society would have nothing to
do if it knew I reformed."
"Well, that's a good thing!"
"Not for me, bedad!" came back
Pat "My wife scrubs the floors in
the Temperance society hall and if
she loses her job where's the change
for my tobacco to come from?"
Patient (to pretty nurse) Will you
be my wife when I recover?
Patient Then you love me?
Pretty Nurse Oh, no!- That's
merely part of my treatment I must
keep my patients cheerfuL I prom
ised this morning to run away with
a married man who had lost both his
yj-iiT r i '-nu1 T
new york gee but sum kids get in
bad at school
the other day the teecher was ex
plaining to the kids how beautiful
everything on earth is and how God
made the big mountains, the red
rozes, the bluebells' and all the other
tommie minks who lives on 112
street got up and piped out
teecher my pa said God made a
daisy when he made me"
everybody laffed but the teecher;
she kept tommie in after school and
made him rite 100 times on a peace
of paper daisies generly keep their;
tl 2BST"" "tS (GOXSAxY J)
MY6AL LOVES THE CIRCUS',
-THE CLOWNS AN' EVERYTHING-
(jU EVEN MAKE IT PtAWER).
SHES nrCHtM' PERTH' RlNGly