Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
A chronic dyspeptic was staying
with a friend and when the two were
out for a walk one morning he said
'to his host:
"I took a couple of tablespoonfuls
of salt water from the sea yesterday
and thought I derived benefit from
it. Dq you think I might take a cou
"Well," replied the host, "I don't
think a couple more would be
"Robert," said the teacher to a
small pupil, "can you tell me what
"Yes, ma'am," replied the little fel
low. "Imagination is what makes a
fellow think a bee's Btinger is three
feet long after he gets stung."
GETTING IT RIGHT
"And the girl he was engaged to
has dropped him."
"She dropped and broke him, eh?"
"No, she broke him and then'i
dropped him." Houston Post
"I thought the Christmas expense
was over, but it isn't."
"My wife has exchanged a" lace
handkerchief and $600 additional for
a fur coat." Kansas City Journal.
ON ITS WAY
The Man Of course, you under
stand, dear, that our engagement
Itl must be -kept secret?
The Woman Oh, yes, dear! I tell
everybody that. New York Amer
ican. o o
"I suppose," said the husband, "I
suppose that you women want to vote
just like men do."
"Oh, no," replied the wife, "that
isn't the point We want to vote a
.great deal better than the.meiudo," .
No 7AN U o 6NN.
GET "KIC4 OK -
Mr. Throgmorton Is it my daugh
ter you want or is it her money?
Jack Howens (amateur champion
hundred yards) Mr. Throgmorton,
you surprise me. You know yery
well that I'm an amateur athlete.
Mr. Throgmorton What's that gofc
to do with it?
Jack Howens A great deal, sir. E
debars me from taking part in any
event for money.
"What do you think will be the
end of the woman question "
"There won't be any end; they'll
always be asking 'em."