"Well, Freddie," said his mother,
.j,"did you learn anything new at
1 school today?"
"Yes'm, said Freddie.
"What did you learn new?"
"I got on to a new way o' gettin'
out of school fer an hour, by snuffln'
Ted ink: up me nose." Ladies' Home
vt A prominent New York theatrical
!man tells this story of how he was
sonce fooled in a western city.
? "We had a melodrama and besides
playing the leading: role I asted as
-?.booking agent and business manager.
As we made a hit I was in for some
j share of popularity. At that time
there was an autograph craze. I
'found myself signing photos and
J cards many times during the day.
-Finally, one Saturday afternoon I
walked into the theater to find a long
'row of people waiting for me each
"'bearing a small card. Rapidly I auto-
K "What was my consternation the
next performance when I found all
f these cards in the cash drawer! On
l'each one was written 'pass bear-
SAY EGG POQ BLEKFUST
BEATEE HEM FO DINNA.
CM1NA Boy SAY MAYBE
SO. BUT, EATEB ALL E&G?
, MgW-TA UAlQREES64w
n. y, miss teresa murphy that
lives on west 124-st wont never go
into that musick store where she
used to buy songs to sing and play
on her pianner & now she comes all
the way down town to do her mu
sick buying whereby hangs a tale
as potes say when they write pomes.
yesterday she wanted a song that
they were singing on the moonlight
excursion which her ice creem buyer
took her to
so she busts into the frunt of the
store and a freckled faced guy who
had just come to n. y. from sissors
ville to carve a future for hisself
slides up and says what will you have
the young lady was busy taring up
the musick sheets hunting for the 1
she wanted and she turned suddenly
on the clerk and chirps
have you "Kissed Me in the Moon
light" betcher life that flabbergasted the
freckle face & he dident get his breth
for a cuppel of minmts and then he
it must have been the feller who
worked her last week i only come 3
DISTINCTION ' ""
"Has Brown a comfortable in
come?" "Large, but not comfortable' His
wife knows just how much it is!"
t o o
"Emily, the ship is sinking! You've
got just about two minutes to dress."
"Good-by, dear! It can't be done."
. - JiL
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