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Newspaper Page Text
HERE'S A SCRAMBLE!
(In Pittsburg a citizen has peti
tioned to have his name changed. Ilis
name is Egg.)
He's sort of eggs-cited about It He
calls his six kids the "half dozen."
His name is undoubtedly eggsasper
ating. He has been beaten, no doubt
and whipped often. Now and then,
we venture, he manages to scramble
. o o
SHE WAS READY!
Former Mistress I would like to
give you a good recommendation,
Delia, but my conscience compels me
to state that you never get the meals
on time. I wonder how I can put
that in a nice sort of way?"
Delia Yez molght jist say that oi
get the meals the same way as oi get
me pay. Puck.
A dandy went into a photograph
er's in a country town to get his
photo taken. When the job was
done he refused to pay on the
grounds that the picture was not like
"All right," said Pat, "leave it
Next day he was passing the place
and saw his picture in a showcase,
and under it were the words in big
"The ugliest mug in town."
He rushed in and abused Pat
"But, me man," said Pat, "yes
terday ye said the picture was not
like you, so you have no reason to
Pat sold the photo.
"My dad came in for some money
"Yes, I know. He came in to my
father for $10 but the old man would
not let him have it"
"My son, why is it that you are
always behind in your studies?"
"Why, thir, if I wasth not behind
dem I couldn't pursue dem; an' you
told me to .pursue dem!" i
Melican man say Blen Flanklin
Blen Flanklin likee ladee one at
time. Maybeso he called Poor Rich
ard. Ploor Richard no poor he havee
so many gaL
Maybe reason Blen jerk lightning
Hum skly because havee so many gal,
and not aflaid anything!
r Bimeby Blen go to England count
lee. He no kneel to king. Say, "WIH
kneel to queen, where is her?"
He glo Fiance to see allee queens.
Maybeso. Ploor Richard be plesi
dent only sufflagette no on job dem
Aunty Just think of all the poor
little Belgian boys and girls without
homes. Aren't you sorry for them?
Bobby Yeah. But gee whiz, they
don't -have to go pq schoolj