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Newspaper Page Text
n. y. mr. hopkins what lives on
west 146 st. 'used to preach a hole lot
ab6ift 2 living as cheeply as 1 & that
was how him and his wife got there
start in life but when he wasent talk
ing about that he was telling his dau
. ter that her feller was the worst hunk
of cheese in town.
now, the feller was alrite, i gess,
but he dident have a reglar job and
when he did work his old man had
to buy his clothes and let him feed
his'face at home free of charge.
outside of that harold was a fine
guy to have around the house
& miss hilda hopkins was stuck on
him for fare
so yesterdy evening when her dad
gQt threw telling about how 2 cood
live as cheepley as 1 she chirps out
papa, deer, if 2 can live as cheepley
as 1 why coodent harold and i get
married as you cood keep us as
cheeply as you keep me here now
sufferin cats you ought to a herd
hildas old man explode & we herd it
in our house which is next dove to the
hopkins but we never knowed what
happened until hila told my sister
his a. m.
but i got a hunch that 2 cant live
as cheepley as 1 in the hopkins fam
ily anny more
Judge (to actor found guilty of
murder) And is there any an
nouncement you would like to make
before I pass the sentence of death?
Actor Yes, your honor, I would
like to announce that this will posl
jtively be my last appearance!
Patlick Henry gleatest Amelican
speaker after Mlister Blyan.
He say, "give me liberty or give me
die." All light, say them an' givee
Patlick Henry gleat lawyer but no
tlusts in him day an' poor Plat die
Maybeso Hally Thaw, live then,
Patlick Henry die rich.
- Plat almost be plesident only he
sdy, "no, let Glorge do it."
' So Glorge Washington plesident
instead of Patlick.
IN. THE SUBURBS
Jones Br-er-er Mrs. Smith did I
ever return your ladder after I bor
Mrs. Smith No, you did not
Jones Well, I'm very sorry be
cause I came over to borrow it again.
Art old Scotchman who lived in
Edinburgh owned a donkey and
rented a shed in which to stable it.
The rental for this shack and his own
cottage entitled him to a vote, as is
the custom of the country.
Hard times came and Sandy lost
everything. But on voting day he
showed up bright and early at the
"Ye have no vote, Sandy," explain
ed the election judge, "ye hev not the
dunkey now, ye know!"
"Weel," returned the Scotchman,
"so twas the dunkey had the "vote
an no me, eh?"