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Newspaper Page Text
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new york. i had to laff purty loud
this a. m. when i herd tell of a guy
who thought he cood pull by a den
tist leller without having the hooks
throwed into him
ithis jpjy who is farely slick hisself
had a tooth in his face hat he want
ed yanked out & so he hunted up one
of those paneless dentists who had a
sine on his front dore which said,
"paneless extraction of teeth free"
7 seconds after he landed in the
dentist chare he started to holler his
head off & when the old tooth was
out he started to bawHie dentist out
because it was no paneless job
o, so it wasent a paneless extrac
tion, inkwires the dentist
no it wasent you big stiff, and the
guy starts to beat it
wate a minit, said the dentist, you
owe me 1$
for what do i owe you 1$, inkwires
the other fellow, dont your sine read
that its free
yes, replys the dentist, that is troo,
but only the paneless extractions are
free, the kind you had comes to one
buck and pleese settel without no
more talk or i will have to nock the
rest of your teeth down your throat
with this bunch of fives & i wont
charge you a nickel for it eether
RIGHT BETWEEN THE RIBS
Patricia Quite a girl you had at
Penrod Yeh, a peach. Knew the
Patricia Well, she ought to. She
hasn't missed one in 20 years. Cor
Tleddy Loosevelt maybeso bliggest
Meb'can (no blig likee Mlister Taft).,
When Tleddy lil boy he glin allee
time, makee tleeth slow. Maybeso
him takee Uespoonful blandy then
glin with teeth and say, "Maybeso
me ridee hoss."
Him ridee rough horse all sammee
-Then him lide bosses
Plitty soon makee president, ridee
tlusts, ridee Boss Barnes. Maybeso
ridee evely thing until . maybeso
.stleam roller ridee him!
Maybeso he no 'believe it happen
till he findee Liver of Doubt
Then he turnee ploglessive -maybe-i
so try libel Bloss Barnes.
No see how.
"1 engaged the rooms for my holi
day," he said, "because the landlady
wrote me that they overlooked a su
perb garden of 200 acres, richly
adorned with statuary, where I was
at liberty to promenade'
"Well?" Jones inquired.
"It was a cemetery," he said bit
terly. New York Sun.
HIS WORK FINISHED
Brown It was too bad about Br
Smithson's death He was only 35.
Jones Yes; but in a way his work
was finished. He had just completed,
his book, "How To Live To Be a Hun-'
dred." New York Times.