Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
new york. I bad to laff party loud
this a. m. when i herd tell of a guy
who thought he cood pull by a den-
-tist feller without having the hooks
throwed into him
this guy who is farely slick hisself
had a tooth in his face that he want
ed yanked out & so he hunted up one
of those paneless dentists who had a
sine on his front dore which said,
'paneless extraction of teeth free"
-' 7 seconds after he landed in the
,,-'dentist chare he started to holler his
head off & when the. old tooth was
out he started to bawl the dentist out
-because it was no paneless job
o, so it wasent a paneless extrac-'
tion, inkwires the dentist
no it wasent you big stiff, and the
guy starts to beat it
wate a mlnit, said the dentist, you
psowe me 1$
for what do I owe you 1$, inkwires
the other fellow, dont your sine read
that its free
yes, replys the dentist, that s troo,
, Jput only the paneless extractions are
flree, the kind you had comes to one
i Buck and pleese settel without no
gjnore talk or i will have to nock the
rest of your teeth down your throat
with this bunch of fives & i wont
charge you a nickel for it eether
RIGHT BETWEEN THE RIBS
Patricia Quite a girl you had at
Penrod Yeh, a peach. Knew the
Patricia Well, she ought to. She
Sasn't missed one in 20 years. Cor
Tleddy Loosevelt maybeso bliggest
Mellcan (no blig likee MHster Taft).
When Tleddy 111 boy he glin allee
time, makee tleeth glow. Maybeso
him takee tlespoonful blandy then
glin with teeth and say, "Maybeso
me ridee hoss."
Him ridee rough horse all sammee
Then him lide bosses
Plitty soon makee president, ridee
tlusts, ridee Boss Barnes. Mavbeso
ridee evely thing until maybeso
stleam roller ridee him!
Maybeso he no believe it happen
till he findee Liver of Doubt
Then he turnee ploglessive maybe
so try libel Blosa Barnes.
No see how.
"I engaged the rooms for my holi
day," e said, "because the landlady
wrote me that they overlooked a su
perb garden of 200 acres, richly
adorned with statuary, where I was
at liberty to promenade."
"Well?" Jones inquired.
"It was a cemetery," he said bit
terly. New York Sun.
HIS WORK FINISHED
Brown It was too bad about Dr,
Smithson's death. He was only 35.
Jones Yes; but in a way his work
was finished. He had just completed
his book, "How To Live To Be a Hun
dred.". New York Times,