OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, July 14, 1915, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-07-14/ed-1/seq-17/

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WLO'S
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new york-if you was to bust into
any other are and ask for some
goods wharas 200 years old and
looked it they'd lam you over the
been and speed you out to the nut
facktory but it aint that way when
"f ellers. buy fiddles
& What they want is one so old that
a good wind would scatter the pieces
all over long iland & they'd kick a
new fiddle highern a kite
that was the kind of a deeler who
""was trying to sell a fiddle to Mr
Payne, who wanted to buy one made
by the old master whoever they mean
-'by that I dont know
i have one here, says the deeler,
what was the identikal fiddle what
nero played on when rome burned,
down
o what are you giving me, replys
mr payne. don't you know that was a
myth
"i, sentinly, says the deeler rubbing
f his hands together fast enuff to wear
the skin offen them, certinly, it is a
nyth and mister myth's name was on
it, but it got worn off
O 0' .
HE IS, ALU RIGHT
gfe "Dear Teacher," 'wrote the anx
ious mother, "I am afraid Johnny Is
raot trying enough !"
' "Dear Madam," replied the ner
vous teacher, "I assure you Johnny is
ihe most trying boy in the class."
GALLANT REPLY
She Pardon me, sir, for walking
on your feet
o He Oh, don't mention it. I walk
on them, myself, you know. ,
AMEUCA
U. S. SENATOR J. HAMILTON
LEWIS
Maybeso J. Hamilton Lewis man
best known Melican senator with,
pink whisker.
Him wearee bletter clothes than
Plesident Wilson.
Him make more hit with plitty gal
than James K. Hackett actor man.
No see J. Ham just turn on splot
light him there sure nuff.
J. Ham him gleat spleech maker.
Makee spleeches while sleepee on
tlariff or blasebalL
r .Maybeso later him lun for plesi
dent on pink whisker and tea plat
form. We see bimeby.
o o
GRATEFUL
"Yes, I know old Stimson well. He
was a true friend to me when the
clouds were lowering and things
looked blue."
"Why, what did he do?"
"He loaned me an umbrella."
0 o
HIS FAILURE
"Perkins will never make a good
golf player," remarked the first golf
bug.
"No," replied the second golf bug;
"he neglects his game to attend to
business." Cincinnati Enquirer.
"What shall I play?" asked the or
ganist of an absent minded clergy
man. "What sort of a hand have yo
got?" came the unexpected reply, j
J& -m. . aJMemJdSdSigm

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