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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, July 24, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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I've been all over town trying to
get my wife a job. I've never seen
so many married women put of work.
If things don't improve soon III have
to take a Job myself. My regular oc
cupation is milking sea cows, but just
now Fm Working in a domino factory.
Yes, I put on the spots. But today
they're making double blanks, so I
got a day off. '
Before jthAoss would engage me
he asked me how long I had been in
my last place. I said, "Seven years."
He Baid, "What were you doing?" I
said, "Seven years."
There was one man in jail, a bar
ber, waiting to be hanged. On the
night before his execution the war
den said to him: "Have you any re
quest .to make before you die?"
"Yes," said the barber, "I wish to
have a chance to shave the district
I never would have got into trouble
if I hadn't married a new woman
then the old one showed up. Life is
full of trials and occasional convic-r
The other day I went into a drug
store and that drug clerk was the
sassiest fellow I ever met One lady
. said to him: "My hair is falling out
f Can you recommend anything to
keep it In?" He said, "Here's a nice
WHAT HE WAITED FOR
Detective (2 a. m.) Hey, yous!
Wotcher hanging around this 'ere
front door fer?
Supposed Burglar I'm waiting for
th' lady inside to git asleep. "We're
HE WAS ONE
"Remember this, young man," he
.said, "only lunatics and rattle-brained
idiots are certain of anything nowa
days." "Are you quite sure of that?"
, "Absolutely certain." Top Notch-.
An old Scotch farmer was contin
ually hounded by a persevering insure
ance agent to take out some fire in
surance. Sandy, however, managed to stall
him off for weeks, saying: "Na, na,
my hoose is na likely ta catch afire.'
One day his house caught fire and
Sandy ran into the street vainly call
ing .for the insurance agent After a
while he shouted:
"Tha's Just it Ya canna ever find
a body when ee want him!"
. "I want you to make the outfit for
"Let me see," mused the experi
encd modiste. "You'll warft a direct
testimony suit a cross-examination
gown and something dainty and,
clinging to faint in."
. o o
MISTAKES: vWTARETHe "
FRENCH SOLDIERS UKE'UoT
WHY, BECAUSE THEY HAVE"
CUT"TrtE FRANWCQTERS I