Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
FROM VAUDEVILLE "
(Nat Wills, the Happy Tramp.)
As I was walking down the street
the other day I saw two girls all
dolled up. One of them had on red,
white and bine stockings and the
other wore green ones. They were go
in opposite directions, and I didn't
knew which I should follow. I de
cided to see America first
A short way down another street a
truck Ipad of insect powder over
turned. Down the street came a lit
tle car. It was going fine until it
struck the insect powder, then it
curled up and died.
A QUESTION OF ABILITY
' One day the principal of a high
. school gave a bright boy a sum in
algebra, and, although tne problem
was comparatively easy, he couldn't
- do it
' "You ought to be ashamed of your-
self," remarked the principaL "At
your age George Washington was a
The boy looked him straight in the
face and replied: "At your age he
' was president of the United States!"
SOLVING THE DIFFICULTY
The following was put to pupils in
a public school:
"There is a family of five children.
The mother has only four potatoes
to divide among them. She wants
to give each child an equal share.
What is she to do?"
Finally one boy put up his hand.
- "Well, Sammy, what would you
do?" asked the teacher.
"Mash the potatoes, ma'am." Top,
"Our minister has received a call
from somewhere at a higher salary
and I understand he is at home, pray
ing for guidance."
"What does his wife think about
"Oh, she's packtog.up mmi
WANTS TO RECIPROCATE I
"Wal!" sighed Cyrus Browne, a
genuine Rhode Island farmer as he
entered the house, "Jed Hopkins
wants me to be pallbearer agin to his
"Wal, wot be yer hesitatin' about?
rejoined his soul mate.
'It's this way, Melissa, yknow
when Jed's fust wife died he asked
me to be a pall-bearer, an' I did. Then,
his second wife died, an' I wuz pall
bearer, fur her. An' then he married
Deacon Wall's widow, an' she died,
an' I wuz the same agin. An' now
wal, I don't like to be all the time
acceptin' favors without bein' able to
return 'em." Everybody's. ,
Weary James There's some fine
aeroplanes going up over this way,
Tattered Paul Wish I was facin
that way, Jimmy.
MlSTA BONES. WHY SHOULD
"IJ EMPUOEP tN CUR
POST OFPice ?
WX BECAJUSE TM&Y KNOW
P" iu TIANIA-C