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Newspaper Page Text
THE HUMBLE HODCARRIER
(Vaudeville playlet in one act
Time, This day. Scene, any building
job. Characters, "Pat," genial hod
carrier; O'Rooney, the boss).
Pat (descending, steep ladder)
Good day, sor!
O'Rooney Pat, didn't I hire you
by the day to carry bricks to the top
of this building?
' Pat Yes, sor, ye did.
O'Rooney Ah, so Oi did. An now,
Pat, I want to tell ye somethin'. I
hired ye to carry bricks to the top o'
this buildin' by the day and pwhat
did I see but ye spendin half the day
a-comin''down the ladder! '
Pat Yes, sor.
Pat I'll try to do better tomor
A well-known New York business
men who is passionately fond of
baseball tells the folio wins
One of his office boys edged iniol
his office last spring and asked for
the afternoon off to attend his grand
mother's funeral. The business man,
thinking the request was a ruse, gave
his permission, expressed sympathy
and said he'd go along.
"The rotten part of it," he said
later, "was that it WAS his grand
Little Laura was saying-her pray
ers before going to bed the other
night She said:
" and forgive us our debts as
we forgive our dentists." Every
Bridget Foley applied for a place
as cook. She presented the following
letter of recommendation: "To
whom it may concern: Bridget Foley
has worked for us one week as cook
SUCH A LONG TIME AGO j
He had just reached the phflojsophf
leal stage when he slipped into a re&
taurant between barsvfor a bit to eatJ
He ordered. Then he sat staring
ahead, quietly thoughtful in express
sion, and waited, and waited.
At last it came. As the waitress
put the order before him he started;
from his deep study, as if he had fox
gotten he had an order coming. Thea
looking up at the fair transporter of
edibles, he said: x
"You don't look a day older!"
Bronson Do you think old Gim-
per's stenographer will win hei;
breach of promise suit?
Gormley No doubt of it She has
some extremely endearing epistles
addressed to her, signed by Gimper
You know the old man never ueed
to read the letters she handed him to
WlSTA BONES. MOW MANy
E66S CAN YOU EAT ON AW
WHY, ONS, BECAUSE AFTER
I EAT THAT MY STOMACH
and we are satisfied."
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