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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 02, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-08-02/ed-1/seq-17/

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' Two country darkies listened, awe
struck, while some planters discussed
the tremendous range of the new
German guns.
"Dar now," exclaimed one negro,
.when his master had finished expa
tiating on the hideous havoc wrought
by a 42-centimeter shell, 'jes' lak I
bin' tellin' yo' niggahs all detime!
Don' lea' have no guns lak dem roun'
heah! Why us niggahs could start
runnin' erway run all day, got
almas' home free, an den git kilt jus'
befo' suppeh!"
"Dat's de trufe," assented his com
panion, "an' lemme tell yo' sumpin'
else, Bo, All dem guns needs is jus'
yo' ad-dress, dat's all; jes' giv'em de
ad-dress, an' they'll git yo'." Every
body's. o o
' POOR REPRODUCTION
Daugher Do you thing that
painting looks like me, mother?
Mother The face does, but no one
would ever guess that your gown
cost your father a cold $1,000. PhiH
adelphia Ledger.
o o
THE RULING PASSION.
In his last illness, when out walk
ing, Tom Hood was accosted by a
friend, who said:
"Ah, Mr. Hood, you walk slow."
"Yes but Tm going fast," was the
reply.
THE DIFFERENCE
"Mother And you say you saw
aunty in a limousine. Are you sure
you know the difference between a
limousine and another kind of car?
Willie Soltenly I do. It smells
twice as bad.
o o
HIS ATTITUDE
"What is your position on this
question?" asked the constituent
The congressman thought a min
ute and then replied:
, "Very uncomfortable." Washing-
UNANIMOUS ".
"And, gentlemen of the jury,
say you all?" Inquired the judge of 4
certain Arkansas circuit after the vei
diet had been brought in.
"Well,, the rest of us do and I recfe
on I ort to," responded the smallest
and most paltry-looking member of
the assortment of peers. "You see,
I originally differed with or from,
whichever is proper the rest of
these gentlemen; but they beat me
all holler playin' checkers, downed
me at mumblety-peg, and then every
one of 'em, when we rassled, grab
holds, to see which side of the ques
tion was right, throwed me flat and
set on me. So, all things considered,
and keepin' to the agreement, I say
with the balance of 'em, that the pris
oner at the bar I sorter forget what
his name is is guilty as charged."
Puck.
MIST BONES, jyHY S k
SPEWTMRtPT DRUNKARD
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STAFP?
V
EECAtE ME'S STRONG
FOR TUE R6TRE3CI7
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