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Newspaper Page Text
r "NOBODY HOME"
In an asylum two worthies named
Sandie and Tarn formed a plan to
make their escape. Sandie Bays to
"Bend doon and I'll get on your
back and get on the tap o' the wall
and haul your up."
Sandie gets on the top of the wall
and slides down the other side, Bay
ing: "Tam, I think you'll be better to
stay anither fortnicht, for you're no
near sane yet"
ANYTHING BUT THAT
'Do you think that if I refuse him,
he will do something desperate?"
"Nope; he'll probably live to be
glad of 4t"
"Then I shall marry him, the
' WAR NEWS
"I must catch up with the war
"What do you mean?"
"I haven't read any for three days."
"Hardly worth reading it now. It
has all been contradicted."
Office Boy Mister Jones, why do
you treat our stenographer so much
better than you do your wife?
Employer Because, Bobby, I can
dictate to her.
Dear me," said the girL Tve
bruised my lip. My mother used al
ways to kiss a hurt place to make it
"And did that treatment make it
"I don't remember. But those old
fashioned remedies were often very
And then be got busy.
She I rode uptown with you in
the street-car yesterday.
He You did? That's strange
I didn't see you.
She Well, you had a seat and I
was standing. Judge.
Mother 'Willie, what are you play
Willie A caterpillar and two lilttle
o o j
'MISTA BONES WHAT Wfc THAT
, SHOE-MAKER POlENO OP
fOURS ABQESTEP POQ
vHV FOR. TGAPFtCk IN