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Newspaper Page Text
' MERELY COMMENT
And now they tell us that young
Spaulding won't get his meat-hooks
on the bride's thirty millions.
He only- gets a chance to worry
along on $60,000 a-year.
But he's got the girl,and if every
thing goes along nicely Banker For
gan may loosen up and increase the
Anyhow, why talk of millions when
the pair is honeymooning?
At that, we'd like to know what it
was the Goodrich girl said that made
the groom mad.
Hearst is raving about Mexico
The Hearsts own vast tracts of
land in Mexico and would like to have
Uncle Sam send an army down there
to guard that property.
Gen. Otis of the Los Angeles Tirhes
is another American patriot who
grabbed Mexican land and wants 'an
American army sent there to make it
Possibly Secretary Redfield doesnt
like Chicago as a summer resort
Anyhow, Judge Landis has given
him a golden opportunity to make a
quick dash for the pole or Washing
ton. xSo Carter Harrison's a grandpa.
It's some sport, Carter, old boy.
Grandchildren are a joy forever
you can hand 'em to pa or ma when
they begin crying.
And pa or ma can do the night
walking. You can play with 'em when
they're good and turn 'em over to
their parents when they begin to
A very wise grandmother once re
marked that she found ibmuch easier
to have grandchildren than children.
And that may go for grand-daddies,
All the same it's grand to be a
grand-daddy. I've tried it five times
myself and expect another this fall.
As I look into the future, it occurs
to me that if the children and grand
children and their progeny do as well
as the old man did I will be father to
the whole human race in several hun
dred years from now.
Unfortunately, however, I will be
good and dead most of that time and
can't play with all those kids.
But there's our old friend, Mrs. Pot
ter Palmer, going to learn to foxtrot.
I'm beginning to feel young again.
Not young enough to go to war,
And now Cousin Johnny Bull tells
Uncle Sam to go fly his kite.
Even the kaiser wasn't as rough as
It would be disconcerting, to say
the least of it, if we had to go to war
Just when the bankers tell us business
is picking up.
And it must be so, because the rag
man and junk dealer say the same
As for Mexico, it would save a lot
of trouble if Villa, Carranza, Zapata,
Chile Con Carne, Hot Tamale, et aL,
would shake dice for the bloomin'
If "trans" means "to cross,"
As in transatlantic then trans
parent, It seems to me, boss,
Should stand for cross parent!
Toledo. Miss Dorothy Southard
given old picture as remembrance;
turned out fortune in form of Van
Dyke or Rubens, valued at $50,000.
CHICAGO GRAIN. All grains up.
Provisions lower. Sept wheat closed
NEW YORK STOCKS. Opened
strong. Steel stocks up". Continued
Unsettled weather tonight and
Thursday; slightly warmer Thurs
day; gentle to moderate westerly
winds. Temperature Tuesday: High
est, CTrlowest, 59,