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Newspaper Page Text
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' ONE WAY OUT
(Vaudeville playlet in one act
Scene Jones' bungalow. Time
Afternoon. Characters Nurse, baby,
Mrs. Jones, Mr. Jonea' bachelor friend
uneasy. Doesn't recall whether it
is a bby or girL)
Bachelor Y-yea, what a Beautiful
Mother The image of Mr. Jones,
I should say.
Bachelor E-r-r yes very much!
Aside Confound it! Why don't they
say whether it's a he or a she!
Bachelor (desperately) Well, well
but he's a fine little fellow, isn't she?
' How old is it now? Do his teeth both
er her much? She looks like the
family, doesn't it? But I suppose
everybody says ic does.
A jovial negro was arraigned in the
county court, Brooklyn, on a minor
"Smith," asked the court, "did you
ever commit a crime before?"
The negro pondered for a moment
"Well, yo' honah," he answered, slow
ly, "Ah, can't 'zactly say, but Oh done
got married one time."
Sergeant Have you seen anything
Sentry Yes, sir, I have. I seen a
dead horse carted into camp an' I'm
wondering what sort of roast we'll
have for dinner today!
English Host I thought of send
ing of these cigars to the battle front
" American Guest- Good idea! But
how can you be sure the Germans
will get them?
Pat Man (with heavy hamper
Here, my boy, what'll you take to
carry this, to the station for me?
Boy (after a moment's considera
tion) I'd take a bus, sir.
She You men have degenerated
since Jonah's time.
She Ever stop to think of -his big
job of accounting to his wife for the
three days' absence inside the whale?
WlSTA BOWES, WHY IS A
JCWCIXK UKC-A BUM
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