Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
(Ed and Jack Smith.)
"Was that homely -woman I saw
you talking to this afternoon your
"She may be homely on the out
side, but she is beautiful within."
"Then why don't you have her
turned inside out?"
"I don't know what Td do if I didn't
have my wife."
"You'd have to go to work."
"My wife picks all my clothes."
"That's nothing. My wife picks
all my pockets."
"My wife also selects all my shirts
"How long do you wear a shirt?"
"One week. How long do you we,ar
"Does your wife ever talk to her
self when alone?"
"I don't know. I never am with
her when she Is alone."
Eliza Eph', Is yo' goin' ter let dat
' mule do de way he pleases? Whar's
yo' will power?
Eph' Mah will power's all right
Yo' jist come heah an' measure dis
yer mule's won't power. Judge.
o o '
THE GEOGRAPHY CLASS
Teacher Now we will have John
nie tell us what a strait is.
Johnnie (a saloonkeeper's son)
A "straight"? Why, that's just the
plain dope thout nothin in it!
Customer (to kennel owner)
Didn't you tell me this dog was fine
for rats? Why, he'won't touch them.
Kennel OwlwtSr-Well, isn't that fine
for the rats?
r o o
First Nurse Maid Are ye goin' to
the dance tomorrow night, Nora?
Nora No, I'd like to go, but the
truth is, I'm afraid to leave the baby
with its mother!
U THE MODERN WAY
l II J MHIfc '1
Lord Boodle Want a job, eh?
Well, my man, what can you do?
Lord Boodle Sorry, but all those
high-salaried jobs are taken. Come
back another day.
o o -1
MISTA BOWES, HOW MANY
PEAS ABE THERE IN A
Aa one"P"! '
- Kfr iT i i li 1 1 iWifcifcfciiiiiMi