OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 09, 1915, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1915-08-09/ed-1/seq-17/

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FROM VAUDEVILLE
(Ed and Jack Smith.)
"Was that homely -woman I saw
you talking to this afternoon your
wife?"
"She may be homely on the out
side, but she is beautiful within."
"Then why don't you have her
turned inside out?"
"I don't know what Td do if I didn't
have my wife."
"You'd have to go to work."
"My wife picks all my clothes."
"That's nothing. My wife picks
all my pockets."
"My wife also selects all my shirts
and collars."
"How long do you wear a shirt?"
"One week. How long do you we,ar
a shirt?"
"Thirty-six inches."
"Does your wife ever talk to her
self when alone?"
"I don't know. I never am with
her when she Is alone."
OVERPOWERING
Eliza Eph', Is yo' goin' ter let dat
' mule do de way he pleases? Whar's
yo' will power?
Eph' Mah will power's all right
Yo' jist come heah an' measure dis
yer mule's won't power. Judge.
o o '
THE GEOGRAPHY CLASS
Teacher Now we will have John
nie tell us what a strait is.
Johnnie (a saloonkeeper's son)
A "straight"? Why, that's just the
plain dope thout nothin in it!
o o
THE TRUTH
Customer (to kennel owner)
Didn't you tell me this dog was fine
for rats? Why, he'won't touch them.
Kennel OwlwtSr-Well, isn't that fine
for the rats?
r o o
CAREFUL
First Nurse Maid Are ye goin' to
the dance tomorrow night, Nora?
Nora No, I'd like to go, but the
truth is, I'm afraid to leave the baby
with its mother!
U THE MODERN WAY
l II J MHIfc '1
Lord Boodle Want a job, eh?
Well, my man, what can you do?
Youth Nothing.
Lord Boodle Sorry, but all those
high-salaried jobs are taken. Come
back another day.
o o -1
MISTA BOWES, HOW MANY
PEAS ABE THERE IN A
PINT
tweces just
Aa one"P"! '
Alt
- Kfr iT i i li 1 1 iWifcifcfciiiiiMi

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