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Newspaper Page Text
(Vaudeville playlet in one act
Scene, any hotel bedroom. Time, to
day. Character, bell hop, fat Eng
lish guest Loud knocking on door
leading into corridor.)
Bell Hop Get up, sir at once!
Guest Hi say, now. What's the
row? Cawn't a chap sleep a bit?
Bell Hop There's a fire on this
Guest (sitting up) How far has
the fire gotten along this corridor?
Boy As far as room 20, sir.
Guest What is the number of my
Boy One hundred, sir!
Guest Very well, then. Wake me
up again when the flames reach
, THE REPLY
t- A well-known actor, while travel
ing in South America on pleasure,
was surprised to receive the follow
ing cablegram, collect, from his joke
loving friends in New York:
"I'm quite well and in good spirits.
Kindest regards. Your friend "
The actor, to retaliate, secured a
. hundred pound rock, had it carefully
wrapped and expressed it to New
York with this note: "Upon receiv
, ing the note that you were alive and
well, the accompanying load rolled
'off my mind!"
f FILLING THE PAPER
"I think," said the editor, in a wor
ried tone, "that I will drop journalism
and take to astronomy."
"Because astronomers nave more
space than they know what to do
with." Herald and Presbyter.
NEXT TO JIU JITSU
Dancing Master You must mind
your feet carefully if you want to
learn the new dances.
Student Neer mind the feet, pro
fessor. What I want to get is the
HE'LL HANG ON v
A York state fanner visited New
York city and among other things he
wandered into a woman's exchange
on 23d st
After a few moments of staring
about at the things on display he
sized up several woman attendants
behind the railing.
"So this is the woman's exchange,
eh?" he said, thoughtfully.
"Yes. This is the woman's ex
change," came the reply. "What can
I do for you?"
"An you all are the women?"
"Wal, I guess then 111 just keep
The Host It's beginning tp rain;
you'd better stay to dinner.
The Guest Oh, thanks very
much; but it's not bad. enough for
MISTA BOWES, VWY ARE THE
GEBMAWS RUNNIN6 OUT OP
WHY BECAUSE "ALDERSHOT
IS IN EN6LANDJ