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Newspaper Page Text
r'" ' " rir ' ''".jizr
n. y. the other day a guy whose
middel name had oughter been booze
was pinched for ill legal selling of
whisky, all that was found on him
by the cops was a peech of a red nose
and a bottel of whisky
when his case comes up in the cort
his lawyers says to him Bill stand up
and look at the jurey
bill hands the jurey the once over
then the lawyer turns to the jurey
and says ,
gentlemen of the jurey pleese look
at the defendant
& after they had got a good eyefufl
of Bill he sets down & the lawyer
gets up again
now, gentlemen of the jurey you
have seen the defendant and i wood
like to ask you a kweshun do you
suppose for a minut that If this Ge
fendant had a bottel of whisky he
wood sell it legally or ill legally
and that afternoon Bill was pan
handling along 3d av same as usually
Willie (reading the boxing news)
Pa, what does this mean: "He was a
glutton for punishment"?
Papa It refers to one of these
fellows who says his forty years of
married life seem but as aday.
Amateur Gardener And this plant
Vinlnnca in tTio hocnnJn famllu
Visitor As, I see, and you are tak
ing care of it while they are away, 1
NAUTICAL FLIES J
"A fathom," explained a school
teacher to her class fe. mathematkaj
"is a nautical word used in defining
distance. It means six feet Now lj
want some little girl to give me 9l,
sentence using the word 'fathom'.
Instantly a hand shot up.
"Well Mary, you may give yoinj
Mary stood up proudly.
"The reason flies can walk on th
ceiling," said the observant child, "is,
because they have a fathom!" Top
DO YOU KNOW
A flock of pigeons roosting on the
town clock at WInsted, Conn., caused
it to run slow.
Topeka, Kan., hotelkeepers have
gone on record as favoring fat mea
as guests on the ground that they are
better natured than thin men.
? ? ?
'MISTA BOWG5. WHAT S IT TUtf
rS ALWAYS INVISIBLE AMD VET
!KtVfcW OUT OP
WHV BOSS. THE C&TTEP